Music + Nerdgasms

pizzaforpresident: I just want to point out that these are all...

Fri, 17 May 2013 14:09:07 -0700

pizzaforpresident:

I just want to point out that these are all the same show.

less-than-one: Yes hello I am here for Gatsby’s party

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 22:53:14 -0700

less-than-one:

Yes hello I am here for Gatsby’s party

luckyshirt: Dear guy who just made my burrito: Have you ever...

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 19:00:36 -0700

luckyshirt:

Dear guy who just made my burrito:

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans cannot usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito and not a multi-stage rocket to the planet Fucking Disgustingupiter.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing life a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer this nonsense. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

doctorbluebox: whovian178: lanuria: accio-season-3: onlyamast...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:45:42 -0700

doctorbluebox:

whovian178:

lanuria:

accio-season-3:

onlyamasterofevil:

MY FUCKING ABHSSDGHJDDD

Anyone else feel like those two would get along really well?

“Beep-woop beep.”

“Really? You’ve hacked into the mainframe just like that? Oh, that’s brilliant!”

“Wee-woo.”

no tumblr you stop that

FANFIC PLEASE

I AM SO HAPPY!!!!

kaylaconspiracy: I want to start a band called Ned Stark’s Bastard. That way, when we come on stage...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:44:08 -0700

kaylaconspiracy:

I want to start a band called Ned Stark’s Bastard. That way, when we come on stage and introduce ourselves we can say “Hello Cleveland! We must be Ned Stark’s Bastard!”

Photo

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:43:59 -0700

Photo

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:43:52 -0700

greetcaroline: Kit Harrington walks into GOT auditions Casting Directer: You must be Ned Stark’s...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:43:45 -0700

greetcaroline:

*Kit Harrington walks into GOT auditions*
Casting Directer: You must be Ned Stark’s bastard.

Photo

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:43:34 -0700

descepter: How The Face Changes With Shifting A Light Source

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 21:14:56 -0700

descepter:

How The Face Changes With Shifting A Light Source

urban-pooka: mid2000snatalieportman: pushinglackadaisies: mewl...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 20:09:35 -0700

urban-pooka:

mid2000snatalieportman:

pushinglackadaisies:

mewlymae:

#’whatever you find’ #that’s a pretty broad definition #i personally would not be satisfied if i found #say #an alligator in my partner’s pants#genitalia is cool #carnivorous reptiles are not.

is pansexuality not caring if you find an alligator

yes

If the alligator is limp, is it a reptile dysfunction?

The Boltons have always been as cruel as they are cunning, but...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 20:09:02 -0700

The Boltons have always been as cruel as they are cunning, but this one seems a beast in human skin

adventuretime: Hard to tell which is the favorite. Thumbs up,...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 09:37:35 -0700

adventuretime:

Hard to tell which is the favorite. Thumbs up, melspontaneus.

melspontaneus:

Playing with AT characters

the-snog-box: let me explain you a thing

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 17:32:01 -0700

the-snog-box:

let me explain you a thing

its-charlie-bradbury: memoryblocks: waffleguppies: obesealpaca...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 21:13:55 -0700

its-charlie-bradbury:

memoryblocks:

waffleguppies:

obesealpaca:

do you think he knows

What I find really astonishing isn’t that a giant land snail managed to earn a doctorate, but that he managed to land a national TV spot despite displaying this kind of egregious, disrespectful behaviour towards his co-host.

#for god’s sake dr. fisher #get off the poor man’s face #you’re a snail of science #act like it

holy shit is this my uncle

Photo

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 18:34:39 -0700

thehotelcat: openendedsky: svveden: asking the real...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 16:44:20 -0700

thehotelcat:

openendedsky:

svveden:

asking the real questions

the fact that google has this information on hand says a lot

Tried this - doesn’t work. Also a comma is in the wrong place.

aymichyan: foxnewsofficial: walk into the club like “what’s the wifi password” ┓┏ 凵 =╱⊿┌┬┐

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 16:36:45 -0700

aymichyan:

foxnewsofficial:

walk into the club like “what’s the wifi password”

┓┏ 凵 =╱⊿┌┬┐

hey-assbutt-its-a-parade: finndicate: vjezze: Amsterdam is...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 16:30:25 -0700

hey-assbutt-its-a-parade:

finndicate:

vjezze:

Amsterdam is turning rainbow for a visit of the Russian president Putin. The council of the city of Amsterdam has decided to hang out the gay pride flag on all council owned buildings and offices, in protest to Russia’s new anti-gay law.

there’s several of these as well;

pretty sure Amsterdam is now the sass capital of the world

ladykalliste: CARGO - A zombie-bitten father tries to save his...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 17:21:00 -0700

ladykalliste:

CARGO - A zombie-bitten father tries to save his infant daughter

This is an amazing short film I found on YouTube. Watch it, you won’t be disappointed.

I cried human tears.

Music + Nerdgasms

pizzaforpresident: I just want to point out that these are all...

less-than-one: Yes hello I am here for Gatsby’s party

luckyshirt: Dear guy who just made my burrito: Have you ever...

doctorbluebox: whovian178: lanuria: accio-season-3: onlyamast...

kaylaconspiracy: I want to start a band called Ned Stark’s Bastard. That way, when we come on stage...

Photo

Photo

greetcaroline: *Kit Harrington walks into GOT auditions* Casting Directer: You must be Ned Stark’s...

Photo

descepter: How The Face Changes With Shifting A Light Source

urban-pooka: mid2000snatalieportman: pushinglackadaisies: mewl...

The Boltons have always been as cruel as they are cunning, but...

adventuretime: Hard to tell which is the favorite. Thumbs up,...

the-snog-box: let me explain you a thing

its-charlie-bradbury: memoryblocks: waffleguppies: obesealpaca...

Photo

thehotelcat: openendedsky: svveden: asking the real...

aymichyan: foxnewsofficial: walk into the club like “what’s the wifi password” ┓┏ 凵 =╱⊿┌┬┐

hey-assbutt-its-a-parade: finndicate: vjezze: Amsterdam is...

ladykalliste: CARGO - A zombie-bitten father tries to save his...

greetcaroline: Kit Harrington walks into GOT auditions Casting Directer: You must be Ned Stark’s...